Vici

Na dan.

ja usi u mojm razredu so neumni razen ene izjeme s katero se imate čast pogovarjati =)

aja? a še kater izmed tvojih sošolcev je na foromu?

Kakšne volje je Hitler?


židane

ne ni nobenga

hahhaha.,xD

ah pol si se pa vrjetn zmotla ter si hotla napisat, da nimate izjem

jst se nikol ne zmotim

razn takrt, k se zmotš

niti takrat ne. to je use zanalašč

torej se motiš ampak nalašč trdiš, da se ne

ne, učas se zanalšč zmotm da vas neumna bitja zmedem =)

al pa ker si sama med njimi

Spam, spam, spam... čeprov morm rečt da sta smešna

no vidš torej to spada sem, ker nasmejiva nekoga

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

Car service: If it ain't broke, we'll break it.

The road to success is always under construction.

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film.

Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die.

In God we trust; all others must pay cash.

I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants. - A. Whitney Brown

How Many Roads Must A Man Walk Down Before He Admits Hes lost?

I have opinions of my own -- strong opinions -- but I don't always agree with them. - George Bush

Why is it called 'after dark' when it really is 'after light'?

The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.

Everyone needs believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.

Money doesn't make you happy. I now have $50 million but I was just as happy when I had $48 million.

Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.

You laugh because I'm different........... I laugh cause I just farted!

When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. - Maryon Pearson

You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'. -Homer Simpson

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. - Robert Bloch

What do you mean, my birth certificate expired?

There are three sides of an arguement -- your side, my side and the right side.

"One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures." -George W. Bush

He's so lazy that if there were work in bed, he would rather sleep on the floor. - Paddy O'Dea

You know the speed of light;so what is the speed of dark ?

If your wife wants to learn to drive, don't stand in her way.

Whatever it is -- I didn't do it!

Everyone needs believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer. - Tronir

to je citat tvojega žiuljenja ane?xD
drgač so hude

pa nism se hotu hvalt aveš x)

uh ja kr ti si ful skromn drgač ane.xD

vem sam to sm pač jz kaj nej x)

Old people at weddings always poke me and say "You're next." So, I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

Bad day, Bad day, Bad day, Bad day, Friday!

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station...

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.

If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it?

YUGO - You go, but car doesn't

Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

No brain no pain.

The main thing school teaches you: how to text without looking.

WTF = Welcome To Facebook

I did it on my bed.. I did it on the couch.. I did it in the car... Texting is such an obsession.

Good friends don't let you do stupid things...alone

Facebook is like jail, you sit around and waste time, write on walls, and get poked by people you don't know.

I'm not weird, I'm limited edition.

I remember when my bestfriend was the shy and quiet one... I created a monster

"But mom what if i get kidnapped?"
"Trust me, they'd bring you back"

"Stalking" is a strong word, I like to look at it as "intense research on an individual"

Okay, I will get out of the bed in 10 seconds. 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-9-9-9...

I'm currently making some changes in my life, and if you don't hear from me, then you're one of them.

Parents spend 2 years teaching their child to walk and talk then spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut up

study.....stud.....stu.....st.....s.....sl.....sle.....s lee.....sleep!

When I turn 18, I'll be able to legally do all the things I've been doing since age 13.

Without facebook, i would forget 99% of my friends' birthdays.

I am good in bed.... I can sleep all day

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

"I love your hair"
"Thanks I grew it myself"

"Clean your room, family are coming over."
"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realise the gathering would be held in my bedroom."

Okay, so you're 10 years old, you have a laptop, iPod, Facebook and a Blackberry. Dude when I was 10 I had Pokémon cards.

My middle finger gets a boner when I think of you.

...remember when we were YOUNG and couldn't wait to grow up? ...WOW, what the hell were we thinking!?!?

My phone doesn't have enough battery left to take pictures or videos, or send pic messages, but it has enough battery to keep reminding me every 2 minutes that the battery is low.

Textaphrenia is a new type of disease mainly found in the blood of teenagers, in which a person thinks he/she has heard or felt a new text message vibration when there is no message.

Why does a round pizza come in a square box? Why doesn't glue stick to its bottle? Why do you still call it a building when its already built? If you aren’t suppose to drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots? Funny World.

Girls dad: "don't let him touch you", boys dad: "get in there son."

Trust me, you really DON'T want to know what goes on in my head.

Snow... the only time 4 inches can make a girl excited.

I'm not wrong. You are just too STUPID to grasp what I'm trying to explain.

I can't clean my room because I get distracted by the cool stuff I find.I can't clean my room because I get distracted by the cool stuff I find.

When i was little i used to fall asleep on the sofa and wake up in bed, now i pass out on the sofa and wake up on the floor.

'Where Do You See Yourself 15 Years From Now?' ... 'I See Myself Being Older'

Dear Fork, I understand that we haven't spoken since I ran away with dish, but I thought you should know that you have a son. His name is Spork. He has your hair. Sincerely, Spoon.

User: "My computer is running slow" Tech Support: "How many windows do you have open?" User: " I'm in the basement, there aren't any windows"

The awkward moment in McDonald's when an emo orders a happy meal.

I tried being normal once. Worst 5 minutes of my life.

The kids next door have challenged me to a water fight... I'm just updating my status while I wait for the kettle to boil.

If vegetarians love animals so much, why do they eat all their food...?

Ale-alejandro, Papa-Paparazzi, Po-po-po-pokerface, Te-te-te-telephone... Hmmmm am I the only one that thinks Lady Gaga might have a speech impediment?

Don't you hate it when you just get comfortable and you realize that the remote is just out of reach?

Immature = A word, boring people use to describe fun people

I'm not copying you, i'm just comparing your answers with the one's i'm about to write

You miss the days when you could safely push someone into a pool, now you gotta worry about the iPod, the cellphone, maybe a PSP, you push someone in, it costs you $939.

I wonder how police on bikes arrest people. "Alright, get in the basket!"

I can't believe Google is only 12 years old and it knows a lot more than I do.

"1 out of every 3 smokers die." Apparently the other 2 become immortal.

"Kidnapping" is such a strong word. I prefer to say "Surprise Adoption".

I'm in love with my bed. But my alarm clock won't let us be together.

No, I'm not being immature, I'm having fun. You should try it sometime.

"No offense" means "I'm about to insult you, but don't get mad."

There's a HUGE difference between waking up at 5:55 & 6 a.m. on a school day.

I am so good at cooking, even the smoke alarm is cheering me on

"Mom, I'm going out." "With friends?" "No mom, with Pikachu."

If the world ends in 2012, I've wasted my whole life in school. . . lovely

Girls are magic. They can get wet without water, bleed without injury, and make boneless things hard

Fake hair, fake nails, fake tan, fake boobs... Girl, are you sure you weren't made in China?

The world can't end in 2012, I have a yogurt that expires in 2013.

I didn't fall, I attacked the floor.

Mom: If your friends jump off a bridge would you jump too? You: How high is the bridge?

No,please don't eat me. I have a wife and kids,eat them. - Homer

"Press any key to continue, where's the any key?" - Homer

Oh, man! We killed Mr. Burns! Mr. Burns is gonna be so mad! - Homer

Oh, yeah, what are you gonna do? Release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouth and when they bark, they shoot bees at you? - Homer

I hope I didn't brain my damage... - Homer

I wonder where Bart is, his dinner's getting all cold... and eaten. - Homer

If you don't like your job, you don't strike! You just go in every day, and do it really half assed. That's the American way. - Homer


What's the point of going out? We're just going to wind up back here anyway. - Homer

Marge, don't discourage the boy. Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals!... except the weasels. - Homer

I saw weird stuff in that place last night. Weird, strange, sick, twisted, eerie, godless, evil stuff... and I want in. - Homer

When I first heard that Marge was joining the police academy, I thought it would be fun and zany, like that movie Spaceballs. But instead it was dark and disturbing. Like that movie Police Academy. - Homer

If elected mayor, my first act will be to kill the whole lot of you and burn your town to cinders. - Willy


See, I got this friend named...Joey Jo-Jo...Junior...Shabadoo -- Homer


I'm Troy McClure, and I'll leave you with what we all came here to see: hardcore nudity!

-kako se zoveš?
-jebo jebić
-šta si reko?
-pero perić
-prid pred tablo
-ko te jebe
-šta si reko?
-nemam krede
-đe ti je tata?
-radi brata
-šta si reko?
-ma farba vrata
-šta ti je mama?
-svjetska jebaćica
-šta si reko?
-ma operska pjevačica
-gdje je sestra?
-jebe se po gradu
-šta si reko? -ma liže čokoladu

hehe

Hahaha
Toel je baje en poslau turistični agenciji...dejansko

Sem jebeni potnik iz ove destinacije matr vam turisticno........
gospa šefica za egipt, sorry šarm el šejk
hvala za tak dopust,
1. adria zamujala na brniku skor 3 ure, baje smo cakal važga vodica ker je mel
izpit na faxsu, matr vam študentsko
2.v avionu ni piva mrzuga, jebe jih baje hladilnik...
3. stevardesa neprijazna, sem caku na wiski 45 min., baje zarad turbolence,
boli me za to pa naj tablet uzame al pa doma ustane...nešolana
4. v šarmu vroce ko svina, to ni men na šalterju noben reku, matr vam nešolano,
5. hotel oz. meven pik jajca bi reku lahko temu, recepcija mrzla od klime da
je žena prec vzela coldrex (upam da veste kaj je to , matr vam nešolano), pol
mi je v recepciji en crn v smešni uniformi hotu spizdit vse kufre, matr vam
arabsko. Sem ga prec prtegnu ko vola, mene nebojo jebale kamele.
6. sobo smo cakal 3 ure, ker so popravljal wc, ker so ga eni angleži demuleral,
jebem jim kralico neutesanci pegasti
7.spal smo slabo ker je žena skoz kašlala zarad jebene klime u sob, pol sem jo
ugasnu pa smo se zbudl vsi zabuhli ker je blo 42c v sob, matr vam klimaško.
8. sem šou v recepcijo in jim jebu arafata, pa so mi pol ponujal neke suite,
boli me za slašice ker jih ne jem...
9. zajtk u kurcu ene baklave ne znajo narest, kava za prašice, vodo sam za
drisko poplahnt,....
10. bazen u kurcu totalno, nepravilne oblike neveš kje bi šou sploh not v vodo,
povhn klora, sem mel usta ko malancani zvecer, žene nebi umenju ker ni šla iz
sobe 2 dni zarad kože razžrte, matr vam klorerano
11. na bazenu je skoz en zanam hodu z brisacam, pol smo se mal stepl pa je
nehu, matr vam žeparsko al kaj je že bil on....
12. plažo smo najdl po 3. dneh, a neznate dat kakšno mapo zraven vuherja, ker
jest se nebom jebu dol z arafati k neznajo nc jezikov svetovnih, matr vam
nešolano
13. vodica nismo vidl 2 dni, baje je ene picke lovil, matr vam kurbersko
14. uturavate izlete po vroci mivki, da sem fasu opekline na potplatih, ker je
jebena žena pozabla papuce u fužinah u lubljan, še premal jo je klor zjebu,
matr ji pozablivo
15. potaplu sem se na koralah in urezu u roko, a nezna noben povedat, da so
ostre ko svina, una na šalterju jih bo še dubla po picki, loh ga tud faše......
16. na vecerji smo se skor zastrupl, žena pa zadavla z nekimi škampi al kva je
to ,a neznajo povedat prej, da se je samo repke ne pa celo žvau.
17. zadn dan sem zvedu da smo mel olinkluziv, hvala , smo pa pijaco kupval u
trgovin hotelski, draga ko svina, sploh wiski,
18. avion za dam spet zamudu ko svina, baje zarad vremena nad grcijo, pizda
pilotova a nezna ukol grcije do nas, matr vam nešolano, sam stevardese bi
nažigal.......
19.u avion ista štala spet topu pir, grde stevardese, wiski zmankal, matr vam
pijano.....

pero zahouvić

tale pa zdej takoj roma naprej haha

najbolj grozne so 2., 3. in 19. točka

... No ja...

Kaj se zgodi ko Chuck Norris brcne v omaro?

Spoiler:

Ta je edn od mojih najljubših

heh poznam
mah teh o chuck norrisu maš malo morje x) vse, kar se zdi nemogoče ali pretirano, je v zvezi s chuck norrisom x)