Vici

Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike.

Today, I forgot to do my French homework, but since it was an online worksheet, I told my teacher my internet wasn't working. I told her with an e-mail.

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "f*ck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken."

Today, I went out with my family and boyfriend for dinner. We were all having a good time, and suddenly at the end of dinner he decides to kneel down on one knee, take out an engagement ring, and say "I choose you, Pikachu," with a straight face. He was serious.

Today, my mom put some bubblewrap on my desk because she thought I would have fun with it. I'm 18. It was awesome.

Today, I went shopping with my new "It's true, I'm a Ninja" shirt on. Suddenly an apple comes and hits me right in the eye. A little boy runs up to me, yells "You aren't a Ninja! A Ninja would have caught that!", and runs off.

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this.

Today, I got back my math test. Instead of taking the time to mark the mistakes, my professor just circled the bottom half of the page and wrote "OMG."

Kere hude!

I choose you, Pikachu <3

Chuck Norris is just a stupid actor. If Chuck Norris is really a God, he will come to my house and slam my head to the keyboardfhfdhdfjdehsbdfejsdbfesbzdjhgdgsert

Kaj ti bo Chuck Norris, če lahko Spongebob peče čavapčiče pod vodo

o ja, ta je legendaren xD vedno privabi nasmešek na obraz xD

Chuck Norris vedno znova pretresa medijski svet. Znova se je podal na misijo nemogoče...

...poljubil je Roberta Pattinsona.

(ta štos je z neta, tko da ne mene kritizirat, če vm je beden, ker je men tud)

sam kdo je Robert Pattinson? x)

ne veš, al se zezaš? x)

če se zezaš: hja, vrjetn en nihče.

če se ne: Edward v sagi Somrak

ne, dejansko nism vidu ... in me tud ni sram za moje neznanje xD

vrjem, jz bi bla še vesela, če ne bi vedla kdo je Robert pattinson

okej jst sm vedla kdo je, sam zadeva mi pa ni tk zlo smešna

Stari Arabec živi že več kot 40 let v New Yorku. Nekega jutra si zaželi, da bi na svojem vrtu posadil krompir. Ker je že star in šibkega zdravja, napiše pismo sinu, ki študira v Parizu: 'Dragi Ahmed, zelo sem žalosten, ker ne zmorem posaditi krompirja na svojem vrtu. Ko bi bil ti tukaj, bi mi pomagal pri takšnih opravilih. Tvoj ljubeči oče.' Sin mu odgovori: 'Dragi oče, prosim nikar se ne dotikaj ničesar na vrtu. Tam sem moral skriti TISTO stvar. Tudi jaz te imam rad. Ahmed' Ne mine niti dobra ura, ko hišo starega Arabca obkolijo FBI, CIA, marinci... Ped po ped prekopljejo celoten vrt. Presejejo vsako pest zemlje in nič ne najdejo. Očitno razočarani po več urah iskanja zapustijo prizorišče. Zvečer prejme stari Arabec sinovo sporočilo: 'Dragi oče, vrt je sedaj sigurno v celoti preštihan in ne bo ti težko posaditi krompirja. Nažalost ti od tukaj nisem mogel kaj več pomagati. Tvoj Ahmed'

Ob treh zjutraj je nekdo pozvonil Muju na vrata. Mujo je zlezel iz postelje in ko je odprl vrata, je pred njim stal pijanček ter ga prosil, če ga lahko malo porine. Mujo se je razjezil in rekel: človek, a si znorel? Ura je tri zjutraj, pa še dež pada, ter je zaloputnil vrata. Ko se je vrnil v posteljo, ga Fata vpraša, kaj je bilo in Mujo ji vse pove. Fata pa mu reče: ne moreš biti takšen. Tudi nama je nekdo priskočil na pomoč, ko sva sredi noči v dežju zletela s ceste. Mujo vstane, gre odpreti vrata in zavpije v noč: a si še tu, da te porinem? In glas iz teme se oglasi, da je še tam. Mujo ga vpraša kje je in moški mu zavpije: tukaj na gugalnici

dodal:

I'm a professional mind reader too xD Epic.

Tole z bradami je hudo
Pa slikice tudi.

mhm poučno in zabauno obenem

kakor paše komu ane x)

ja sej pravm da kokr komu ane x)

zakaj? sej je samo slika xD



true, true

dukfaceeeee xD *ufurana čist*

Dodal: